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Writer's pictureSabrina Ritchie PMHNP

Holiday Cheer or Holiday Fear? Managing Stress and Anxiety During the Festive Season

Ah, the holidays. That magical time of year filled with twinkling lights, cozy gatherings, and... anxiety-inducing chaos. Let’s be real—while we all want to imagine ourselves merrily sipping hot cocoa by the fire, for many of us, the holiday season can feel more like sprinting through an obstacle course of social obligations, financial pressures, and family dynamics. It’s not exactly the warm and fuzzy vibe we see in Hallmark movies.


But before you panic and consider going off the grid until New Year’s, let’s talk about how you can reclaim some sanity and make it through the season with your mental health intact. Yes, holiday cheer is possible! You just have to tackle those stressors head-on—and maybe laugh at a few along the way.

The Social Obligation Overload: How Many Parties Are Too Many?


You’ve just received your third invitation to a holiday party for the same weekend. You’re already picturing yourself juggling awkward small talk, dodging people you swore you’d never see again, and frantically trying to remember if Susan from accounting prefers red or white wine. Does this sound familiar?


Here’s the thing: You don’t have to attend every single event you’re invited to. Repeat after me: It’s okay to say no. The holidays can quickly become an exhausting marathon of parties, dinners, and cookie exchanges (seriously, how many cookies does one person need?). Instead of feeling obligated to attend everything, choose the ones that truly bring you joy or connection. Think of it as quality over quantity. It’s better to go to one event where you can actually enjoy yourself than to hit five and feel like a stressed-out mess.


Actionable Tip:Try using a polite but firm “Thanks so much for the invite, but I’m already overcommitted this weekend!” Most people will understand—you might even inspire them to set some boundaries themselves. Pro tip: Blame your dog/cat/goldfish if you need a solid excuse!

The Financial Pressure: Are We Really Still Doing Secret Santa?


Gift-giving is supposed to be fun, right? So why does it feel like you need to take out a second mortgage just to make it through December? Between buying presents, contributing to office potlucks, and suddenly deciding you need new holiday décor, it’s easy to watch your budget spiral out of control. Spoiler alert: It doesn’t have to.


The pressure to give the perfect gift or host an Instagram-worthy holiday party can be intense, but remember, most of this is self-inflicted. News flash: Your friends and family probably don’t expect you to spend a fortune (if they do, maybe re-evaluate the friendship…). Focus on thoughtful, simple gifts or shared experiences instead of over-the-top presents. Also, let’s normalize the idea that adults don’t actually need to exchange gifts unless it’s been discussed—don’t we all have enough stuff already?


Actionable Tip:Set a realistic holiday budget before you start shopping and stick to it. Suggest a Secret Santa or gift swap with a spending limit if your group insists on exchanging presents. Bonus points for making it funny—like “the most ridiculous $10 gift” or “something you already have in your house that you never use.” Who wouldn’t love that mystery candle from 2015?

The Family Dynamics: Cue the Drama (But Only if You Let It)


If you have a family that gets along perfectly during the holidays, congrats—you’re living the dream. For the rest of us, family gatherings can come with their own set of challenges. Maybe your aunt has a lot of opinions about your life choices, or your cousin always brings up politics at the dinner table (why, Steve, why?!).


Here’s the secret: You can’t control how your family behaves, but you can control how you respond. If you know certain topics or people trigger your stress, plan your responses ahead of time. Don’t be afraid to set boundaries, even with family. It’s okay to excuse yourself from conversations that make you uncomfortable or to step outside for a breather if things get too intense. You don’t have to get pulled into every debate—or stay at the table for every round of “Why aren’t you married yet?”


Actionable Tip:Come up with a go-to phrase for when conversations start to take a stressful turn. Something like, “Let’s agree to disagree and pass the mashed potatoes!” Injecting a little humor can diffuse tension and redirect the conversation. If all else fails, pretend you need to “help in the kitchen”—the ultimate family drama escape hatch.

Bonus Round: Managing Your Own Expectations


Sometimes, the biggest source of holiday stress isn’t the parties, the shopping, or even the family—it’s the pressure we put on ourselves to make everything perfect. Here’s a newsflash: Perfection is overrated. Your holiday season doesn’t need to look like a Pinterest board to be meaningful.

Rather than striving for a picture-perfect holiday, focus on what makes this time of year enjoyable for you. Maybe that’s spending time with loved ones, or maybe it’s taking a solo stroll through a light display while sipping on hot cider. The point is, let go of unrealistic expectations and embrace a holiday season that feels good to you, not just what you think it should look like.


Actionable Tip: Make a list of the top three things that matter most to you during the holidays—whether that’s baking with your kids, finding a few moments of quiet reflection, or simply surviving without burning the turkey. Whatever makes you happiest, prioritize that, and let the rest go.

Wrapping it All Up (Pun Absolutely Intended)


The holidays are a wild ride, but they don’t have to be a source of dread. By setting boundaries, managing expectations, and giving yourself permission to focus on what truly matters, you can survive—and maybe even enjoy—the festive season.


So here’s to a little less holiday fear and a little more holiday cheer. Now go pour yourself some eggnog, put your feet up, and remember: You’ve got this.

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